You’ve probably seen this guy around. He walks with a sort of bounce on the balls of his feet, and quite honestly sometimes he carries this obnoxious swagger that would make you stuff an apple into his anus. I’ve known him for awhile, Johnny. He’s one of those people who knows people. You’d first be thinking, “hey, lookie, social butterfly, what a douche” and you’ll probably still think he’s a douche when you finally do talk to him (I say ‘when’, not ‘if’, because trust me, you will end up talking to him.

Johnny is one of those who comes off as weird when you first talk to him. Weird, and gay. I daresay I’ve known him long enough to conclude that he’s quite straight, and in fact he will tell you that he’s straight, but trust me the things he does… There was this one time back in ‘09 where he spent a good few months being this gay guy people called ‘Sasha Fierce’, with flamboyant catwalks and loose wrists everywhere he went. You could totally find a clip of him as Sasha on the net, should you wish to waste your time looking for it. Don’t. He’s not worth the effort.

Because, after a while, you start to see that this kid’s a victim of his own social circle. Most of his friends have an opinion about him. And he’s the kind of agreeable fella that would just take what people say about him as truth. People say lots of shit about him; oh you can trust him, oh he only hangs out with pretty people, oh he’s your typical guy, oh he’s your typical gay, oh he’s totally a momma’s boy cause he still does dishes.

Thing is, most of the things people say about him is probably true, not because it’s true to begin with, but Johnny here adapts quite well to fit in. Why do you think he has many friends? Then again, he doesn’t really strike me as the type of guy who seeks affirmation from the vast number of friends that he has.

I recently had a lengthy conversation with Johnny about friends. He told me, that really, he doesn’t need that many people in his life, just those that matter. Pretty textbook answer, no? See that’s the thing about Johnny, he’s so agreeable that he could be one of those people who frequently gets retweets from his followers on Twitter. Which he does! And you wonder whether this kid is just doing it to gain acceptance from his many friends or he really means what he says. Heck, he probably wonders all this too. I wouldn’t be surprised if that line blurred a long time ago. Good god, even his name is agreeable. ‘Johnny’? Couldn’t his parents have come up with a less common name?

Up to this point you probably don’t know where I’m going with this, why I’m talking about some guy who’s not even that important. Trust me, he’s not. He’s not even one of those tortured souls with an exciting history involving an abusive dad and school bullies. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if he did a lot of the bullying himself. I wouldn’t be surprised, but I bet most of you would. Like I said, he is after all an agreeable fella. So why am I talking about him? Because like all his other close friends, I feel… frustrated.

This is the guy who, once upon a time, told me that he was going to marry his girlfriend. Then they broke up. This was the guy who once upon a time dated That Hot Older Girl. This was the guy who, throughout most of his life, in some way was the guy people looked up to. Then he faltered. The kid has heart, but sometimes he has too much heart he just screws it all up. And yes, it is because he’s an agreeable fella. He’d rather compromise with you than to really fight for what he believes in. Then again, he’ll tell you that he believes in what you believe in. Which is probably true. Probably. Kid, sometimes you just gotta screw some people over. A cautionary tale for all you people out there.

Then again what’s wrong with having a lot of heart? Nothing really. Just that, people will step all over your guts one day. But don’t worry Johnny, the amazing thing is that you probably wouldn’t mind.

I feel someone needs to tell his story. That person should be me. But what story is there to tell, that we don’t already know? You may ask this, dear reader, because you are ill-informed. A kid can’t be that agreeable. No one is. I honestly feel, and I think some of his closer friends will agree, that beneath that weird/awkward/agreeable/unassuming/obnoxious/friendly/confused/confusing exterior is someone who is much less confusing. If he stops being relatable to the whole world, you’d notice that he has a character of his own. “Of course he has a character of his own!” you’d say, since I just spent the better part of the past ten minutes describing his character. But you know what, screw all that. No one should take anyone else’s word about him, even from the guy himself. If you ever end up closer to him than the rest of the world, take a look at what he doesn’t do, what he doesn’t say, the little asides he has with himself, the nuances, the body language, the tell-tale signs, the facial expressions. Then once you’ve taken a look at all that, I want you to throw it out the window, because you can never figure him out. No one can. Well, except his mom.

But does that make him as fake as everyone else? Probably. Maybe not. What do I think? Well I think he’s as fake as the next guy. I’ll give him this though; he’s really genuine. So what the hell’s the difference? I think you can see for yourself that he means well, and that should be as much as anyone expects from anyone else. 

So what’s this kid doing now? Well, he’s still single, still talks to everyone, still maintains that he doesn’t talk to everyone, still has that close bunch of friends who he can connect with but really he doesn’t tell them his deepest darkest thoughts because doing so might make him weirder than he already is. Or so he thinks. You know what you should do? You should get him to talk about his dreams. This kid dreams a hell lot. I think it’s an outlet for all the repressed thoughts he has. He shared some with me, and they’re some pretty messed up dreams, to say the least. Then again, dreams are just that; dreams. And thoughts are just that; thoughts. If anything, Johnny thinks too much, but don’t tell him I said that cause he’ll ask you how anyone is supposed to think ‘too much’ as though you can think in excess. I rest my case.

hffogasla:

Expectation:

Reality: